it's not everyday you get to touch a heart

Wednesday is our dissection day. As always, we don our lab gowns, put on our surgical caps, masks, and lastly, our gloves. What makes this Wednesday extraordinary or much more special than usual is the fact that we were on the topic of thorax2, more popularly known as the heart and lungs. Although it's another wednesday where we get to smell like formalin, cadaver, and mentos all in one, anticipation was building as we entered the anatomy lab. I slipped on an extra pair of gloves, just in case, and braced myself for the overpowering smell of dead bodies and formalin. The first thing I saw when I entered was the maggots lazing around in one of the long tables where a cadaver used to lay. I shook my head and thanked God that our cadaver wasn't fully ravaged by maggots yet. When I got to our John Doe, whom we fondly call 'tikboy', we said a word of prayer and went on to cut open the ribs and clavicle (collarbone), next came the heart and lungs. As we detached the heart from its attachment in the lungs and several blood vessels, we found blocks of blood clots in the arteries. We had to wash them clean before being able to section the heart and study its parts. Now, I might sound so nonchalant about this, but when I saw the heart and actually held it in my hands, it was so overwhelming. It's not everyday you get to hold a real person's heart in your hands, gloved though it may be. Never in my entire childhood did I dream that one day I'd be able to hold a stranger's heart in my hands, nor did I dream that I'd be brave enough or have the guts to do it. As we studied the parts of the heart, the coronary arteries, ligamentum arteriosum (sounds like something from Harry Potter, eh?!--accdg. to Dr. Gonzalez), and all those other weird medical jargon I can't even pronounce, I marvelled at this special opportunity I had--that once in my lifetime, I could say "hey, I was able to hold a human heart."

A Person in Progress

“My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:19).
Paul was a person in progress—just like you, just like me. As we read through Paul’s letters and compare his earlier writings with his later ones, we can measure subtle but significant changes in his approach to life as he matures. Philippians 4:19 is but one such example. Paul had confirmed over time that God would indeed supply every one of his needs. That Paul had needs should come as no shock. He was in prison. The Philippian believers were concerned about the needs of their patron saint, so they took up a collection—a special love offering—and sent it to Paul via the honorable Epaphroditus (2:25). So overcome with joy was Paul that he wrote them a tender and joyful thank you letter, the book we call Philippians. He was not so overwhelmed by the cash itself as the thought that these dear people loved and cared about him. Because of their sacrificial love toward prisoner Paul, he was able to write, “I am amply supplied” (4:8). God met Paul’s needs. He will surely meet yours. INSIGHT:When we pray about our needs, God may not give us the answer we envisioned, but we can trust it to be the perfect provision.


I just read this devotional today, and it was timely too. Just when I was agonizing over the fact that I had soooooooooooooooooooooooooo many projects, reports, quizzes, papers, and things to get done, God said, "I will meet your needs." So simple a statement, yet so powerful. No more worrying about what I need to do tomorrow, next week or next month..just the fact that if I just do my part, trust in Him, He will provide a way and lead me through it, and I can trust that His provision is perfect in every way, even in the timing--it is not early, for us not to boast we did it by ourselves, and it is not late, for Him to fulfill His promise. It is just right on time for us to know that it is God who did this. Thank You, Lord, for Your faithfulness.

exam results

well, hey...here I am again after quite some time :p it really is quite a tedious job keeping a blog.. I'm actually considering deleting my blog..haha but no, I won't do it..simply because I recently added a new game which, hopefully, you will be addicted to.. =) anyway, what's new in my life as a pre-med student? very few, actually, if you consider having the results of my neuroanatomy prelims exam out and me having a fairly mediocre grade at that..but I know I could've done better! argh! if it hasn't been for my carelessness...oh,well...life's like that...as I love to say, cest la vie! what better response than to accept it. I'm almost fearful to see the results of my other exams..anatomy lec & lab, physiology lec & lab, psycs, tsot lec & lab, hbot, scl..........well, we'll just have to wait and see, won't we? :p

awesome song!

Faithful Father
(Brian Doerksen)

Father, I can’t explain this kind of love
This kind of grace
I know I still break Your heart
And yet You run to welcome me

This is my song of praise to You
For who You are and all that You do
From the moment my life began
You have been faithful

Father, I love the way You hold me close
And say my name
I know when my life is through
My heart will find its home in You

This is my song of praise to You
For who You are and all that You do
From the moment my life began
You have been faithful
You will be faithful Forever faithful

This is our song of praise to You
For who You are and all that You do
From before the world began
You have been faithful

You will be faithful, forever faithful

Copyright © 1996 Mercy/Vineyard Publishing. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

I came across this song when I was sent a link by my friend. It was entitled the Father's love letter, and is a flash movie about God's love letter to us. This song was playing in the background, and though it was not that loud, I can't help but hear the words "I know I still break Your heart, And yet You run to welcome me." Shucks, I'm getting all teary-eyed here. Anyway, all in all, this is a really touching song. =) it really is a must-hear!

vaction's almost over

well, it's been a long time since I last wrote here..it seems as if I also took a vacation away from my blog during the summer..haha oh well, there are sooo many things I want to write about but I don't really know where to start..How about a summary? All right, a super short summary of two months or so.. I did two volunteer jobs at montessori programs and pre-schools, had 3 consultations regarding disabilities like cerebral palsy, developmental delay disorder and autism, took up a memorology course, and learned a piano piece, etc. Well, that wasn't so bad, if I might say so myself.. But then, here comes the sad part--summer break's almost over! Adjusting all over again..ugh! I hate it.. but what choice do I have?! besides, God is always beside me, and I know it is His loving hands that will guide me throughout the rough roads, as well as the smooth ones..thank You, Lord!

Well, hey, I'm back! You would not believe the day I had... I'm now officially an adult! March 26, 2006...hah! my 18th birthday... I cannot believe how many people remembered my birthday! Many thanks to all of you... You made this day unbelievable! Actually, the way we celebrated was neither extravagant nor outspoken...it was as simple as an intimate dinner with my family..but then, it was also great because it was a constant reminder that whatever happens, throughout all the events whether good or bad, big or small--my family will always be there as witnesses of my life. That's why I thank the Lord so much for this family who's been with me through it all, who've seen it all, but still chose to stay... Hey, I'm getting all mushy here.. someone hand me a tissue! Just kidding. Well, I'll keep this short since I actually just wrote to announce to everyone that I've finally come of age. Well, see yah!

weekend

at last, after a gruelling week, it has come to an end! but still, the assignments and homeworks don't stop there.. they keep on piling up week after week, which, if I'm not careful, I might find myself in way over my head. oh, well..at least, I get to take a much needed breather. And oh yeah, I almost forgot, there's a crescent-shaped moon tonight, which reminds me very much of the grinning cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland. It's almost reassuring to think I can still notice something as small and insignificant to others when I'm obviously so dead to the world and all I can think about right now is sleeping..zzz...which makes me appreciate the fact that I still have time to write this..haha the ironies of life...Oh, well..It all ends here. God bless ya all n happy weekend! Over n out..thank God! =p

My Desperate Time and God's Own Time

this is sooo true..i got this from our church's website--www.thepathwayoflife.net

Time Zones and Faith
by John Fischer

Our thought for today comes from a woman who has had more difficulties to deal with than a lot of us put together. That is why she has a right to say what she says, and why we should take notice when she says it.

"I know discouragement comes easy, but I also know things happen when God is ready for them to happen and not a second sooner. God knows why he wants things to happen in the order they have to. We just need to be ready when they come."

This is a woman in a complex situation seeking to hold onto a childlike faith while displaying an adult-like wisdom. What she's saying is that she has recognized there are two different time zones going on when it comes to correlating God's will and our experience. One I'll call My Desperate Time (MDT) and the other, God's Own Time (GOT).

Most of us run on MDT. MDT defines our reality. It's what we see and feel always. We are conscious of it the minute we rise up in the morning until we put our weary heads on the pillow at night. We measure pleasure and pain by it; we judge our overall state-of-being by it.

God, on the other hand, exists in another time zone entirely. In GOT, His will is always done, and nothing is ever late. GOT also takes into account the MDT of everyone, which can often get tangled up. You see there are as many MDT zones as there are people, and that means they can often be in conflict. But with God there is never any conflict. There is only one GOT and as far as He is concerned, everything is right on schedule.

This is why it is utterly silly to wonder if God has heard our prayers based on whether or not He has acted in MDT. God always hears our prayers -- He has most likely already answered them -- he just answered them in GOT.

Most of our issues with God are all about time zones. Think about the hapless Bible character, Job. Job was smack in the middle of MDT all the while he was suffering, and his best friends were trying to figure out why God wasn't doing anything in MDT. Well, we know now that God rarely does; He is always in GOT and we can see that now, in Job's case, because his life ultimately caught up with GOT. Eventually, all MDT will be GOT. In fact, that will be what heaven is all about. We will all be kicking back in God's Own Time.

So faith is mostly all about time zones. When you pray, know that you were heard, and move ahead, believing in GOT and just maybe, MDT won't be so desperate.

A REAL Christian... He feels supreme love for the One whom he has never seen; talks familiarly every day to Someone he cannot see; expects to go to heaven on the virtue of Another; empties himself in order to be full; admits he is wrong so he can be declared right; goes down in order to get up; is strongest when he is weakest; richest when he is poorest and happiest when he feels worst. He dies so he can live; forsakes in order to have; gives away so he can keep; sees the invisible; hears the inaudible and knows that which passeth understanding.

new year's resolution? nah...

here i am again...puyat na naman! haha well, occupational therapy is really a tiring course... --that's the understatement of the year! i mean, to survive in this course, you really need to put a lot of work into it (like what I'm doing right now)... well, cest la vie, that's just the way life is... anyway, it's really starting to get interesting; no wonder the Lord placed me here in the first place...truly, He knows best. Oh, and before I forget, a happy new year to everyone! I didn't make any resolutions this year, whether conscious or unconscious ones bec. honestly, I'm tired of the whole idea! New year's resolutions are like promises made to be broken, no use in making them. That's why, this year I'm trying something different--reverse psychology?! haha, an interesting thought but, no... This year, on January 8, we had a prayer meeting of consecrating ourselves to the Lord. And that's precisely what I did! This is mainly because I admit to myself-and to the Lord-that I'm not self-sufficient anymore, that without Him I am and can do nothing, that only He can change me. In that prayer, I place my heart in His hands, asking Him to seal it until the day He comes again. May the Lord fulfill my heart's desire.

"Even if we are faithless, He will continue to be faithful for He cannot disown Himself."

year end blog

whew! this christmas break qualifies as one of the more unforgettable days of my teenage life... super sayang tlaga... I wasn't able to go to the tagaytay youth conference, I mean, I really need it!! Oh well, this year's about to end, and right now, I'm still here at the vancouver airport waiting for my delayed flight... I just got to thinking, this year 2005, did I live my life in a worthwhile manner? Were the things I did or the way I lived pleasing to my Lord? Honestly, only God knows.. These are matters of the heart, and when it comes to people's heart--especially mine--no one knows 'em better than my Lord. Anyways, I'll keep it short as I realized it's year-end and nobody would want to waste their time reading someone else's blog.. so, here ends my blog... wishing y'all a happy new year!!! 2006 here we come...