"Just Love Me"

This Tagaytay conference is truly different, as mentioned by achi jojo yesterday.. My heart was once again touched by the Lord. The entire conference, His word for me was just to love Him. Though I had many reasons not to.. I was tired, busy.. I had to start thinking about my future and take action for a better life ahead.. I had so many things to think about.. I had no time.. and most of all, I know I have to offer and give up so much.. But then, I realized I had more reasons than not to give Him my heart and to love Him with all that I am.. Why did He wear a crown of thorns? Why were His hands pierced? Why did He bleed? Why was He whipped and beaten? Why was He spat on? Why was He hung on the cross and left to die? For all of these, there is only one answer: FOR ME. Only one question then remains: "How can I not love Him back?" A songleader during the conference said, "What is the reality of loving the Lord? It is to love Him with all our heart, mind, and strength. This is the greatest commandment. Not just our best, but with our all." I was especially apprehended by this because I always have this notion that I will love the Lord when I am a better Christian, when I can say that I've given up something for Him, when I am somehow able to live for Him, when I can give Him my best. Now, I don't really know when that time will come. But I now understand that He wants me to love Him not just when I'm at my best and when I'm strong, rather even along with all my weaknesses and failures. Now, I can sing this song to Him, my Beloved... "As long as I have breath, I'll find a way to say that I love You. Everything may change and the world may pass away, I'll still love You..."

AFPMC-V.Luna rotation '08

August 18- September 12, 2008 My rotation at V. Luna was by far the most eventful for such a short period of time. It was a wonderful experience--the people were great and it was a healthy working environment. I was so blessed to be able to rotate there at that time, and eventhough I wish we were there for a longer period of time, I'm really thankful I was able to even rotate there. The people I were with: sharmaine, george, ate bianx, and sir macky were the best people to share meals, laughter, and stories with. I think we all really clicked and became close in a short period of less than 4 weeks.

:Sigh: Leaving people and places behind is always sad, there's no question about that. But I believe, we still have the choice if those we left behind physically will still continue to be in our lives long after we part ways. Right now, however, I'm making a choice that the people I parted ways with physically will never lose the place they had in my heart. I will forever cherish the V.Luna experience and all the little things that made it memorable.

For all the foods, laughters, stories, music, fun, knowledge, and friendship---V.Luna and the people involved will continue to hold a very special place in my heart. Thanks to you all!

P.S. Special mention to kuya jv, ate ja and kuya rhandz who visited during our stay there, thanks for sharing in the fun! ",)

Melancholic last night at PCMC

@ 6:00-8:30pm July 18, 2008- Debriefieng, parting words, packing our bags, packing up the toys, last aftercare of the speech room, loft area, staff room, splint area, computer room, walking in circles around PCMC Rehab. Med. Division, sitting on chairs, eating, talking, laughing, taking pictures, blowing on my pen, trying on the seesaw, stationary bike and other equipments around the center, last minute learning on how to make POP splints, watching the PT interns practice their dance moves, kissing Ate Yves goodbye and shaking hands with Kuya Chi, peer evaluations, seeing our grades, etc. etc.

These include our last moments at PCMC, it was a sad farewell after 2 months of fun and laughter we didn't notice had already passed us by. As we packed our bags and readied ourselves to go home, it was like literally "packing our bags" from a home we had grown to love. It was a shame we didn't have a complete group picture with all the OT staffs at PCMC, even Aaron whose birthday it was, wasn't able to join this picture posted above. Nonetheless, all the memories of laughter and tears at PCMC will surely never be forgotten. The OT area, with all it's potentials for interior decorators like us, was made lively by all our quirks and crafts. It was really an experience I would forever cherish. Thanks to Sir Mark, Ma'am Choche, Ma'am Meg, Sir Julius (who's already out of the country), Ma'am Bianca, Sir Borge, and Ma'am Joan. You've all made our stay memorable!

toxic...not!

In terms of my patient ratio, I don't like the way things are going right now. I haven't met five of my patients due to their absences. As a result, there are days when I lounge around the center playing with the patients of my colleagues (naks!). On the bright side, I'm always available whenever my CS buddy Sir Mark (the chief OT..yipes!) calls me for feedback, lecture or to assist in treating his patient. Whenever those happen, I almost always feel a sense of anticipation and nervousness as well. Sir Mark is nice, there's no question about it; but when it comes to the questions he throws at you and if you can't wring your mind for an answer or at least be confident in pretending you know exactly what you're talking about, then that's where the problems lie. He will really wait for your answer, and the silence accompanying it is really uncomfortable. The end point is, you will really learn a lot from him, and that's what matters. I'll admit that when I first found out he was to be my CS buddy, I was full of complaints. I kept on saying how unfair it was that the others got the nice, approachable and unintimidating ones. I realize now how thankful I am that he became my buddy bec. I never could have learned this much in one rotation if it weren't for him cramming up my head with all these infos. and giving me this much chance to maximize my potential/experience.

Today, he even let me handle his patient "shobe". He showed me how to do NDTs on her and let me practice what I learned during our lecture. It was really an experience like no other! At first, I really felt much trepidation since the patient was very fragile and you really have to balance the force you give to stretch the limb while not overforcing it lest you cause a fracture. By the end of the session however, I felt quite at ease doing the PROMs and stretching. It was really wow! Now, I knew why I felt drained every time we had a lecture or feedback. It was bec. I learned so much and I'm trying to cram all of it in my head. At the same time, I also feel happy every after our lectures and feedbacks bec. again, I learned a lot and I'm excited to try it out with my patients. By definition, this is true learning. Learning with application. Oh well, I still got until july 18. I just hope my patients (esp. N.M.) show up by then. So you see, despite the reputation of this center for being really toxic when it comes to patient distribution, the only toxicity for me are my documentations and the unspoken pressure from my CS buddy to be really good.

Life As I See It

June--my 3rd placement is currently at Philippine Children's Medical Center. Last month was at Learning Partners School Inc. Being busy in my current rotation is something different, it would sure take some getting used to. Honestly, being around kids is a fun setting (pediatric), but as I've written in my previous post, I feel this is just not me. I mean, I can still feel the pull of adult physical dysfunction or the psychiatric setting. It's not that I don't like kids, don't get me wrong, but it's just the idea of treating them.. I feel like I don't have that much frustration tolerance to handle it. Oh well, the choice is Yours...it's Yours, God, whichever way You lead me. You know what's best for me. That's the message at church this morning. Bro. Erwin said that if we just leave the choice to God, we'll never regret it, because God will never give us what's second best but only what He deems best for us. Thank You, Lord. Complete abandon. :a deep sigh of relief: Your grace still amazes me. haha that's the song that's been playing in my mind these couple of weeks ever since I came across it last May. It brought tears to my eyes whenever I sang it to the Lord. The song just overwhelms me with the grace of God. Fitting too, since this June is the start of our church's gospel meetings, and I need to be overwhelmed by the love of God in order to share Him with others. I've started praying and inviting my friends from high school to church. Sadly, though, almost all of them either have lots of things to finish, no time, or just plain didn't bother waking up. This isn't the first time I felt so hopeless, sorrowful, grieved, and dejected. This is how it feels like everytime I invite someone and I'm bursting with expectations of that person coming, but then, they don't.. I'm not so sure if this feeling of dejection is because I felt sorry for that person not being able to come and not being saved or just plain out of self-pity that I was rejected once more. I don't know why it's so hard for people to come to church and so easy to go someplace else given the choice. Yet through all these, I rejoice greatly, because God's work isn't over. It's just starting. And I know from experience, that God makes all things beautiful in His time. He is faithful. AND He surely answers prayers, ESPECIALLY if our prayers are in line with His will. So right now, let me say this in advance, thank You Lord for the work You are currently doing and is still completing until these people come to the knowledge of You and accept You as their Lord and Saviour. Show them what we, Your children, have seen. How amazing and wonderful and unfathomable Your love and Your grace is! That is all it takes. Open their eyes. Praise You, Lord, for Your work.

VERSE 1
"My faithful Father; enduring Friend
Your tender mercy's like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again"
CHORUS:
"Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me"
VERSE 2
"Oh, patient Savior, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there's no way to repay You
Only to offer you my praise"
CHORUS
BRIDGE
"It's deeper, it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher
It's deeper, it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher
Than anything my eyes can see"
CHORUS

Internship year

April--the start of my year as an intern. Who would've thought that the experience would be like this? Everyday you trudge the road, hoping against hope that you'll be one step closer to that much coveted gold--graduation. And this, speaking from my experience of less than a month! How much more when I've covered the road halfway?! I wonder what I'll have to say by then.. Still, it seems a long way off from 2009--the year I graduate. I hope by then I've gained enough knowledge and skills to last me throughout my career as an occupational therapist, if God wills.

Having said that, let me describe briefly what I do during my rotation at the University of Santo Tomas Hospital-Community Center. In the morning, we go to the CC bringing our bags and file folders full of the day's activity needs. All the activities' expenses come from our own pockets so we really have to be creative and resourceful in this, not only in thinking about the activity itself but also in terms of the materials we could use. Since it's my last week here (thank God), I'm almost out of ideas for activities. Mind you, there should be 3 proposals each week for every activity in crafts, cooking, communication skills and recreation. We have group activities from 9:30am-11:30am for the patients. After the activity, we go to the OT room all sweaty and drained, just as if we'd run a hundred mile marathon. In the afternoon, we go back again to administer our individual treatment sessions. Thankfully, my patient G.P. was very cooperative and is a good-natured boy. Treatment with him feels rewarding, making all my hardwork worthwhile.

The CC experience, as I call it, is a tiring yet rewarding one. There are times when we would just sit down and enjoy laughs and chats with the patients. There are those times when you feel you've really made a difference, especially if your patient was discharged during your rotation like mine was. Even more so, was the fact that he was also admitted not long after I started my rotation there. Therefore, I felt the satisfaction of having a part in his recovery even more. Before the end of our second week, Sheena and I were seriously considering working in a psychiatric setting after graduation. I'm still not sure where God will lead me after grad, but we'll see.. =)

People Need the Lord

Everyday they pass me by,
I can see it in their eyes.
Empty people filled with care,
Headed who knows where?

On they go through private pain,
Living fear to fear.
Laughter hides their silent cries,
Only Jesus hears.

People need the Lord, people need the Lord.
At the end of broken dreams, He's the open door.
People need the Lord, people need the Lord.
When will we realize, people need the Lord?

We are called to take His light
To a world where wrong seems right.
What could be too great a cost
For sharing Life with one who's lost?
Through His love our hearts can feel
All the grief they bear.
They must hear the Words of Life
Only we can share.

People need the Lord, people need the Lord
At the end of broken dreams, He's the open door.
People need the Lord, people need the Lord.
When will we realize that we must give our lives,
For people need the Lord.
People need the Lord.

AFP- V.Luna Medical Center Practicum

Yesterday was the end of my 2-day practicum at V. Luna Medical Center. All in all, it was really a learning experience because only then was I able to experience really being outside the confines of my comfort zone and not just like being in UST-CC or UST Pay or MOC or even Sapang Palay where almost the whole class goes together. In this practicum, we were literally left to our own resources. On Monday, Sir Joel met us only to tell us our schedules and what center we'll be assigned, told us to be there before 8am, and that was it--our orientation. Our group, excluding noie, met up in front of the Espana gate very early (at least for me) the next morning. We took a Project 2,3 jeep to Kalayaan and that was it. (Thanks to Aaron for bringing his map book of Manila hehe :p) Thank God for letting us find a jeep that quickly when chances of finding a jeep like that there was 1 out of 10! Nineteen bucks and less than an hour later, we arrived at the front gate of AFP-V.Luna gawking like kids at the military hospital of the Phils. We didn't know who to look for or where the occupational therapy department was, so we said to the soldier guarding the entrance "sa OT department po", what he replied to us left us dumbfounded. He said, "alam nyo kung san yun?" Who's asking who?! Haha Anyway, we said nevermind, we'll go find it. As we turned to go in, guess who we met? Sir Macky, the speaker for our career seminar just a few weeks ago was going in, and he turned out to be the Clinical Supervisor for that center. God is so amazing talaga! We followed him inside and quickly discovered that the OT department there is such a nice, cozy place filled with wonderful, dynamic people. The first thing they asked us when we entered is "kumain na ba kayo? Tara, kain tayo." Immediately, we felt welcome--at home and at ease. We all trooped to the canteen which lies a few steps away from the OT department in this subdivision-like, peaceful complex (to think that this place is full of soldiers! :p) After taking our energy boost, we were oriented to the place by Sir Macky, it's history, people behind it, and what we as future interns will be expected to do there. Then, we were toured around the hospital when we went to visit a level C5 SCI patient who was attended to by Kuya JV. We went outside to visit the cool prosthetics and braces shop with the cool commander (ang saya!), it was a 1949 establishment pa! We went back inside the hospital to be introduced to the dynamic PTs and the Executive Officer who joked with us for quite a long time. Then we went back to the OT department to observe and participate in the treatments. After a while, Sir Macky oriented us (actually,more like gave us a lecture) on the different assessment tools there were in the clinic. We even had a competition between the interns and practicumers on whose the fastest in the spatial relations assessment tool, and guess what?! We won! Hurrah, karisse!!! :) After that, it was time to go (back to school, that is) for our afternoon class. We even had a homework for the next day, because we were told we would be doing hands on IEs the next day. Whew, what a day! It felt like a crash course on the whole OT3-phys. dys. subject. I went home that night browsing my pedretti, trombly, hislop, gonio and opa books.
The next day came soon enough, same routine until we got there and instead of doing eval., we told sir macky that sir joel said observations muna so he allowed us to observe nalang ate sam doing the eval. If I'm not mistaken, the guy was a stroke patient. The IE was supposed to last for only 45 mins., but the IE lasted for almost 2 1/2 hours not including the interview of the caregivers/family members. This time, Ma'am Loida was the one who taught us. We really learned a lot, we even caught new terms: protopathic and epicritic. (haha) While doing the IE, I was also watching Kuya JV in the other side of the room do treatments on a 1 yr 1 month baby for neck control. The baby was hilarious! He was like on mute whenever he cried, esp. the first cry and he will hold his breath while crying for a long time which caused him to darken ( I was afraid he would be hypoxic) and only until he breathed would a sound be produced. When we went out of the mat room, there were so many patients, the clinic was so crowded there seemed like no space left. Everywhere you turn you'll see stroke patients doing MRMT, arm restorator, etc. It was nice to see how you were supposed to handle real patients. A far cry from the practicals we have at school. Then, it was time to say goodbye, Sir macky delivered quite a formal ending speech wherein he said that sana may natutunan kami and that we would teach our classmates what we have learned. He also said he hoped that through this, we would come to love the area of physical dysfunction. We went back to school to attend pharma, wherein grades were dictated if you're line of 9, and thank God my name was called. Congrats again to Tygre! Diligence and prayer is what it takes. =) Well, I'm so sleepy na, so signing off for now. Btw, looking forward to my internship at V. Luna. :p