toxic...not!

In terms of my patient ratio, I don't like the way things are going right now. I haven't met five of my patients due to their absences. As a result, there are days when I lounge around the center playing with the patients of my colleagues (naks!). On the bright side, I'm always available whenever my CS buddy Sir Mark (the chief OT..yipes!) calls me for feedback, lecture or to assist in treating his patient. Whenever those happen, I almost always feel a sense of anticipation and nervousness as well. Sir Mark is nice, there's no question about it; but when it comes to the questions he throws at you and if you can't wring your mind for an answer or at least be confident in pretending you know exactly what you're talking about, then that's where the problems lie. He will really wait for your answer, and the silence accompanying it is really uncomfortable. The end point is, you will really learn a lot from him, and that's what matters. I'll admit that when I first found out he was to be my CS buddy, I was full of complaints. I kept on saying how unfair it was that the others got the nice, approachable and unintimidating ones. I realize now how thankful I am that he became my buddy bec. I never could have learned this much in one rotation if it weren't for him cramming up my head with all these infos. and giving me this much chance to maximize my potential/experience.

Today, he even let me handle his patient "shobe". He showed me how to do NDTs on her and let me practice what I learned during our lecture. It was really an experience like no other! At first, I really felt much trepidation since the patient was very fragile and you really have to balance the force you give to stretch the limb while not overforcing it lest you cause a fracture. By the end of the session however, I felt quite at ease doing the PROMs and stretching. It was really wow! Now, I knew why I felt drained every time we had a lecture or feedback. It was bec. I learned so much and I'm trying to cram all of it in my head. At the same time, I also feel happy every after our lectures and feedbacks bec. again, I learned a lot and I'm excited to try it out with my patients. By definition, this is true learning. Learning with application. Oh well, I still got until july 18. I just hope my patients (esp. N.M.) show up by then. So you see, despite the reputation of this center for being really toxic when it comes to patient distribution, the only toxicity for me are my documentations and the unspoken pressure from my CS buddy to be really good.